Determine if flowers or charitable contributions are preferred

As executor planning the funeral, you will want to consider whether flowers are preferred or if suggesting charitable donations is a better fit. Keep in mind that there is no right or wrong choice here, it just comes down to individual preference.

The Use of Flowers

The tradition of flowers being used at visitations and funerals started back in the days before embalming and air conditioning, when fragrant flowers helped keep the room where a deceased person was laid out as fresh smelling as possible. Today, they serve to add warmth and beauty to the room and/or gravesite. Also, they demonstrate how much the person meant to others, who as a result took the time and paid to send bouquets. They are, in short, a visual display of sympathy that often cannot easily be expressed in words. To some, flowers also symbolize the nature of life – beautiful and temporary. Like all flowers, humans die, too. For these reasons, if flowers are not present during visitation and burial, some might note the absence. Others, however, might feel the money that goes toward flowers is better spent by making charitable donations in memory of the deceased.

In Lieu of Flowers

The phrase “in lieu of flowers” is a common one in today’s obituaries. When deciding to go this route, you should consider if you want to select certain charities or leave the choice up to those who make the memorial contributions. If you decide to suggest certain charities, you might consider the deceased’s interests or causes. Were they an animal lover? In that case, a local humane society or rescue might be a good choice. Did they have an interest in history? Maybe their town has a historical society or museum that runs on donations. Or you might consider any illnesses that touched their life or those they loved. Most diseases, such as cancer, heart disease, and diabetes claim thousands of lives each year and there are numerous charities that do everything from helping with research to providing aid to those battling the ailments.

In cases where a family loses the primary breadwinner or is struggling financially, you might consider choosing them as a beneficiary. You can work with a bank to set up a fund for donations or request that monies be sent directly to a family member.

Charitable Considerations

Another consideration in this regard is that if you choose specific charities, you have a better chance of learning who donated in memory of the deceased. This allows you to send thank-you notes. It is suggested if you select a charity that you notify them and provide contact information so they can let you know who made donations. In many cases, the charity itself also will send a thank-you note to those who donated. If you do not designate specific charities you likely will have no idea to which charities people donate and as a result, not be able to send notes of thanks. However, many people who make donations in these cases understand that, and do not take offense at not receiving a personal note from you.