Purchase the headstone/memorial

If you have visited a cemetery, you likely have noticed the wide variety of headstones that are available. Some people keep it simple with small grave markers that include limited information, such as name, and date of birth and death. Others include epitaphs, pictures, and other ornamentation. If this task falls to you as executor, you might be surprised with all the choices available for the deceased’s grave memorial marker.

Understand the Rules/Restrictions

The first step before buying a stone is becoming familiar with the rules and regulations of the cemetery in which the deceased will be buried. Many cemeteries have guidelines in this area. Some wish to have a uniform look where all headstones are the same. Some prefer flat, level-to-the-ground headstones so that mowers do not have to mow around markers but instead can mow right over them without causing damage. Given that the stone or marker will be personalized and typically non-returnable, you will not want to buy one that ultimately cannot be used. Unlike many decisions at this time, choosing a headstone does not need to be done immediately. In most cases, the marker will not be installed until well after burial in order to allow the ground to resettle and become a good base for keeping it upright and level. This gives you and the deceased’s family time to be thoughtful and find the right marker to commemorate the deceased.

Materials and Shapes

When selecting a marker, you might first consider from what material you would like it made. Generally, marble, granite, or bronze are used to make grave markers, with bronze and granite being considered the most durable and as having the easiest upkeep. But markers also can be made from wood, concrete, sandstone, limestone, fieldstone, iron and other materials, as well. Markers are available in four main styles. These are markers which lie flat; monuments that stand upright; slanted markers, which have more of a wedge shape when viewed from the side; and benches, which not only mark the grave but provide seating for visitors to rest and reflect. Grave markers can be made in almost any design, though, so if you have special wishes, but sure to ask.

Companion Stones

You also will want to consider at this point if the stone will be used to mark the grave of only the deceased, or if in the future a spouse or significant other will share the marker. In these cases, a grave marker large enough to accommodate both names, often referred to as a companion stone, should be selected. In general, the standard marker for a single grave is 24 inches by 12 inches, and a companion market that marks two graves is either 36 inches by 18 inches, or 44 inches by 14 inches.

Informational Wishes

You also will need to decide what information you would like to include on the grave marker, as that can determine size needs, as well. Will you use full names and/or a nickname? Do you want full birth and death dates, or just birth and death years? Do you wish to have an epitaph, verse, photo, or symbol, such as a cross, angel, dove, or emblem of something the deceased loved, such as baseball, music, etc.? Plaques and bronze decals also can be added, and in cases where the deceased was a veteran, military decals are often selected. You might choose to add a permanent vase for flowers or a solar candle or other lighted feature.

New Available Options

With continued advances in technology, graves also are becoming more innovative. Nowadays, adding a 3-D portrait of the deceased or a solar-powered monitor to show a video at the grave are options. Adding microchips to graves so that visitors can easily call up the deceased’s obituary or other information on a smartphone are being developed, too.

Installation Costs

Once you have selected a grave marker, check to see if pricing includes it being installed at the grave site. If not, most grave stone makers, cemetery operators, or your funeral director can connect you with companies that handle installation.

Insurance Considerations

Finally, you might consider insuring the marker in case it is damaged. Many homeowners’ policies allow this add-on, so discuss this matter with family to see if they wish to have the extra protection. Since grave markers can cost thousands of dollars, having the coverage might be a worthwhile expense.

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